Do you know what its like to imagine the worst situation in every situation you are ever in? Well picture it.. Yup. Holy shit right? Welcome to my life during car rides or even driving. Now the only time I do drive is to work 3 blocks away and that’s not only because I’m pregnant but also my husband thinks someone will steal me ( i take that as a ploy on how attractive I am, weather it be true or not) . other wise my husband drives everywhere. I really have no idea how I lived life without him before. Ah yes I just didn’t drive. I suppose I can blame my anxiety on my mother (like so many people do) she drove me around till I was..well.. She still does when she is around.. But the truth the real truth is I have been in exactly 13 car/truck accidents 3 minor and 10 terrible all involving ER visits and ambulances.. I was only the driver in 2 of these accidents and they were 2 out of the 3 minor ones.
Right now I’m in the car with my husband headed to his mothers house for new years eve a mear 90min away. We make this drive often. Twice a month or more sometimes.. Every time at the same spots I ask (never remembering) “is that the car, or the road”, ” do you hear that, what is that “, ” are you sure we don’t have a flat” , ” why does the car do that”.
I’m great with my panic attacks at this point I can have one and no one even know, if I don’t do my breathing then I get the headaches, those are worse than the whole ordeal all together. What can ya do? Freak people out or get a headache from hell, sometimes its a toss up.
I also scare very easily, even just saying it makes my heart race. You could say boo to me out of nowhere and I’ll scream like a child. Even worse with the popping out to scaring me that a major panic attack and crying. Most people find it funny. I mean there’s humor in everything right? Sometimes I laugh also so I can’t pretend its always terrible.” Always find humor in yourself, if you can’t make yourself laugh then your shit out of luck for others” my mother used to say.. Oh mom.. How she was right about every damn thing she ever said